My 'You have got to be kidding me?!!?' morning

So I've learned this morning that some days just aren't meant to happen as according to plan. There is nothing more frustrating than thinking that waking up three kids completely on schedule, tackling breakfast, diapers, the kitchen garbage that the dog decided to mangle some time last night and drinking instant coffee, 'today is a going to be a good day', Boy was I off the mark.

Next we load our selves into the van, only about 15 seconds behind schedule, mentally singing 'hi ho hi ho its off to school we go' and guess what? Thanks to my hubby's slightly untimely negligence I turn over the engine and there is nothing more than a sputter from under the dew covered hood. No Gas. All I'm thinking is why would he have not stopped to get gas last night in his attempt to drop off a trailer load of yard waste at the dump? Which, btw NO, he didn't make it before they closed, as I had predicted while he was hitching up the trailer in a mad rush. What he did manage to do, while the kids and I attended the 'meet the teachers' BBQ at the school last night -alone-, was to drain the $10 of gas that I had just put in the van.

We unload out of the van. The kids are silently ecstatic, afraid of their pissed Mom barking commands for chores that need to be done, since they don't have to go to school anyway. Instead I take out my anger and frustration on a more deserving soul. As I clench my cell to my ear, grit my teeth, and aimlessly wander around the yard and garage looking for that gas can that we're supposed to always keep extra gas in 'for emergencies', he answers. I don't often hang up on people, and certainly not the ones I choose to share my life with, but I did, however not until after I spent about a minute and a half bitching and complaining and blaming. I may have even cried for a split second. Oddly enough it didn't make me feel much better. I tried to call back to apologize but he didn't answer. Oh well. The 'emergency' gas had been used up in the dead tractor that is still parked in the driveway, hood open.
Deep breath in, ok, at least the kids are happy watching the final few minutes of the cartoon they had begun watching before the whole ordeal and the kitchen is still as clean as I had left it.
I walk back to the van to see if, as Troy had suggested in the two words I let him get in, it could be rolled forward in that hill-billy way which I spend a great deal of time trying to never have to experience. There is a slight chance that the slope that the van is parked on is causing all of the gas to pool at the front of the tank. Maybe, just maybe there is enough in there, as Troy swore he thought there was, to get us to the Pioneer gas station. As I get close I assess the tilt of the van, yes it is on a slope, I'm thinking I'll just throw it in 'neutral' and use my super-woman strength to...oh, wait, that is quite the slope to the front driver's side and it has nothing to do with the grade of our lawn.
It is a flat. Not just a 'we should stop and get air on the way'flat but a complete and absolute flat. I'm not sure whether to be more pissed, more frustrated or both. Gas or no gas, we were not destined to make it off the farm today.
Another angry/ tearful phone call later I make my self another one of those instant coffees.

What does any other mother of three do on a morning, such as the one I'm having, do? They sit down at their computer, tell the kids to bugger off for a good 20 minutes, and blog.